Blackholes and Revelations
by sexipistol
Summary: After an unfortunate event Makoto must embark on an unusual journey to find happiness at last. What will her choices be and how will they ultimately affect Minako? MakotoMinako pairing. enjoy.
1. Author's note

**Blackholes and Revelations**

**Author's Note:**

**Hello again fellow writers and readers. I'm sorry for putting this as the first chapter but it is completely necessary. I would like to dedicate this story to a very dear friend of mine who passed away 2 weeks ago. She struggled with Leukemia for a year and a half before falling into a coma a month ago. She was a beautiful person in every way and will be dearly missed by those who loved her, including me. I hope you enjoy this story but most of all I hope Sarah would have. We shared a common obsession for Sailor moon and fanfiction so I hope this story can become my last goodbye. **

**A handshake and a sip of wine  
So say it loud and let it ring  
We are all a part of everything  
The future, present and the past  
Fly on proud bird  
You're free at last.**

_**Ronnie Van Zant of the band, Lynyrd Skynyrd **_

**Sarah, I hope your dreams were wonderful like the one's you had awake. Though it's overwhelming and painful now, your memory will live in me until the day I am also free at last. I dedicate this story to you and I hope I'm wrong and we will meet again. **

**I don't own sailor moon or anything related to it. **


	2. Wake up

Wake up

The Hikawa shrine was completely covered in snow. It was a cold, windy afternoon in mid-December. Black clouds were beginning to form in the sky, a breeze filled with electricity whistled through the trees, a fierce snowstorm was surely on it's way. But the white snow filled canvas was beautiful, leafless trees swayed elegantly against each other, crows flew low over the scenery aware the storm was coming. On top of the Shinto structure, a girl with long black hair caught her balance after being hit by an icy snowball.

"Usagi! Would you stop that! I could fall and break my neck!" cried Rei in exasperation. She was perched on top of the temple, along with Makoto, putting up Christmas lights against her wishes.

Usagi howled with laughter. "Sorry Rei! I just don't want you slacking off!", she snickered pointing at the shaken priestess. Fortunately the blonde quickly lost interest in throwing snowballs, instead her breath rose in a mist before her and she pretended to be smoking which she found quite entertaining.

"I think you guys should come down now. There's a storm coming" suggested Ami. She looked up at the dark sky, snow had begun to fall over their heads. The swift, cold breeze grew instantly.

"No! we have to put up all the lights! It'll look gorgeous!" shrieked Minako excitedly. For the past hour she had run around calling out orders on how to place the colorful lights, she would change her mind drastically every now and then, which to no one's surprise, annoyed Rei terribly.

Taking Makoto's hand, the priestess crossed over to where the tall girl stood. "Mina-chan, it's dark and we're tired. I still don't understand why we have to decorate the shrine, it looks so…tacky!", she complained almost losing her balance again on the slippery roof.

"Because! It's Christmas! Every year the temple looks so gloomy! I just thought it would be nice!", pouted Minako, for a moment she tilted her head and studied the arrangement of the lights. Deciding they were fine she went back to moping like a child.

Makoto, careful as always, placed the lights perfectly straight. "Don't worry Mina-chan. We'll put them all up. It'll look great thanks to you", she said kindly. After making sure they were secure, she looked down and winked at the blonde who blushed profusely.

Rei, with the help of the brunette, nailed the remaining cord of the lights to the wooden roof. Proudly but unhappy, she raised herself high, chest swollen arrogantly. "There. We're done. FINALLY!", she exclaimed. Her tired legs gave in a little and in a moment of clumsiness, she slipped.

"REI-CHAN!", yelled Usagi worriedly. She quickly placed herself under the roof, completely convinced she could catch the girl.

After having slid a little down the inclined rooftop, the priestess opened her eyes. She did not fall. her outstretched hand was secure in Makoto's who had dived on to her stomach to grab her. The brunette grinned teasingly at her.

"Sorry Rei-chan. You can't blame Usagi for that one", said Makoto sarcastically but kindly as she began to hoist Rei up to her.

Kicking herself up, flushed with embarrassment, the priestess grabbed on to the taller girl and secured herself. "Stupid lights. What was I thinking? and in this weather!" she cursed under her breathe which made Makoto giggle.

"Be more careful you two! Come down now, the storm is almost here!" demanded Ami. Her heart raced from the sudden scare, she urgently needed her two friends to be on the safe ground.

"Now who's the clumsy one?", snickered Usagi. Despite her cool demeanor, her hands shook and her insides ached with unease.

"Shut up!" snapped Rei still clutching Makoto's arm.

"Relax Rei, Mako-chan is up there with you. She'll make sure you don't mess up again", teased Minako. Her eyes met the brunette's, the two smiled at each other. Makoto suddenly felt warm all over, her heart slammed powerfully against her chest, nervousness eating at her insides. Feeling light headed, she bent over and grasped the roof under her, Rei following her every move.

"Are you okay?" asked the priestess. She quickly examined her friend's pale face. "What's wrong?".

"Nothing. Just tired"

Minako danced around nervously. "Mako-chan! Is everything alright?", she asked clutching her scarf tightly, her eyes never leaving the bent over brunette.

Makoto straightened up. Avoiding the blonde's worried gaze, she gave Rei a weak smile. "Don't worry, I'm fine". She waved her hand dismissively at the fretful girls below her. Her eyes bouncing from Usagi to Ami and only catching fast glimpses of Minako.

"Come down now" insisted Ami.

"Not before you turn on the lights. Let's make sure they look alright", said Makoto feeling a lot better. With both hands on her hips she stood proudly, waiting to marvel at her own accomplishment. Waiting for Minako's eyes to light up gorgeously. She wouldn't mind falling over and breaking every bone in her body just to see the blonde smile.

Usagi took the extension cords that lay on the spotless snow. "Ready?", she asked smiling all around. Once everyone nodded she plugged them in and bowled over at the wonderful sight.

Hundreds of twinkling lights illuminated the ancient shrine. The cords sustaining the delicate bulbs were placed in a perfectly straight line, they covered the inclined rooftop from top to bottom with no sign of any flaw. Red, blue, yellow, green and white sparkled over the grayish temple. It was now completely dark except for the colorful spectacle and bone colored moon shining over them. The wind picked up and the snow was now gushing down. The freezing breeze traveled through the trees creating a somber whistling, nevertheless the night was dazzling.

"It's incredible! Good job Rei!", cheered Usagi as she looked at the priestess who rolled her eyes but wore a satisfied smile.

Ami checked her watch anxiously. "It is lovely. How about we go inside now", she suggested. The restless sky above them grew fiercer.

Makoto grinned. "Hold on Ami. It's a nice night and from what I can see it looks great. Right?", she asked looking around at the pleased smiles. Lastly she looked at Minako.

The blonde was on total awe. Her blue eyes glistened stunningly against the flickering lights, it was as if she were moments away from crying. Minako's smile invaded her entire face which shun brilliantly. She clutched her scarf tighter, completely speechless.

"Mina-chan?" asked Usagi who stood beside her.

Minako didn't move. Instead her eyes traveled to look at Makoto. "It's beautiful…" she said slowly. She lost complete interest in the lights, her gaze was captured by the brunette who looked at her just as dazed. The two stood silently watching each other, everything around them disappearing, the moment was odd but wonderful.

The storm unexpectedly hit. A powerful wind from the West attacked almost taking Rei with it. Usagi yelped a little. Despite the mighty current of air, Makoto and Minako stood unmoving, their eyes never parting.

"Please! Come down you two!" urged Ami, she held on to the latter waiting for Rei to make her way over and down.

Makoto felt dizzy again. Her once warm body was now shivering with cold sweat. A tingling sensation rose from her feet up to her aching forehead. The brunette began to shake, little by little her legs gave into weakness. She tore her gaze away from Minako and blinked a couple of times. She looked again but her eyes had lost focus, she could only see a yellow blob moving around where the blonde was standing. The world around her was turning dark, she waved her arms at her sides attempting to grab on to something. She could hear shouting but couldn't decipher what was being said. Unable to stand any longer, Makoto closed her eyes as she lost complete control of her body. With a loud thump she crashed on to roof and rolled down, on the edge her limp body swayed a little before falling to the snowy ground. Her abrupt landing was followed by a horrifying crunch.

"MAKO-CHAN!", came a heart-piercing scream. Minako raced to the unmoving body and almost passed out. Makoto's limbs were sticking out in odd angles, bone could be seen on her right arm, a trail of blood began to paint the white snow around her head. Crying desperately, Minako knelt beside the unconscious girl and lifted her head, she grimaced feeling her hand wet with warm blood.

"Don't move her!", demanded Ami as she made her way over, Usagi hot on her heels.

"Do something! Anything! Help! HELP!", wailed Minako uncontrollably. Her cries for help echoed through the whistling night. The only response was a disturbing silence.

"Minako please!", snapped Ami who was kneeling next to her. She carefully took Makoto's mangled arm and checked her pulse. She sighed relieved that the girl was still alive.

From a short distance, Rei jumped off the latter next to them. "I'll call an ambulance", she said with one look before dashing off into the temple.

"What - what happened?" stammered Usagi. She stood behind Ami, unable to bring herself any closer.

Minako looked up, her tear filled eyes ached for comfort. "-she-she-was-fine. And-and-then…", her lame explanation was cut short by an explosion of earth shattering sobs.

Usagi quickly wrapped her arms around the distressed blonde. "Sshh, don't worry. It's going to be fine. She's strong. Calm down", she whispered soothingly, tears began to form in her eyes as she looked at Makoto's blood drenched body.

Rei came running up to them. "They'll be here in a few minutes. How is she?", she asked between breathes.

Ami looked up at her with a dour expression. "Her pulse is weak but there. She's losing too much blood from her head injury. She needs urgent medical attention or else…", she couldn't finish the sentence, her heart turned to ice at the thought of losing her friend. The priestess smiled at her warmly as she placed her hand on the blue haired girl's shoulder and squeezed gently.

Meanwhile Minako had taken her scarf off and placed it under Makoto's bloodied head. Her hand trembled from under the soaking garment. Her head spun from looking at the brunette's pale, expressionless face. Her insides stirred so badly she had to close her eyes for a moment to stop herself from throwing up.

The following minutes felt like an eternity. The storm picked up, filling the air with a howling whistle. Hair blowing in their faces, the four girls waited anxiously around the stiff body. Minako reluctant to let go. In the distance they could hear a siren. The penetrating sound growing closer and closer. In seconds a revolving red light illuminated the scene. The ambulance screeched as it came to a sudden stop a few feet away from the girls. Two paramedics, one holding a long stretcher, jumped out the back and rushed to the accident. Usagi, Rei and Ami moved out of the way but Minako didn't budge.

Rei bent over the blonde and squeezed her arm. "Come on Mina-chan. They need to help Makoto", she said gently pulling her up. Minako held the priestess tightly as she watched the fast moving paramedics.

Quickly but carefully, Makoto was secured into the stretcher. The tall girl, much to everyone's surprise, began to stir as the moving bed traveled across the bumpy snow to the ambulance. Unaware that her presence was obstructing, Minako had launched herself onto the protecting bars surrounding the agitated brunette.

"Mako-chan! Can you hear me? It's Minako. Don't worry, I'm here", said the blonde warmly. Tempted, her hand reached for Makoto's ashen face.

The paramedic, annoyed and rushed, gently but sternly slapped her wrist. "Miss, I have to insist that you stay out of the way", he growled as the backdoors of the white truck flew open. From inside a third paramedic was ready to hoist the patient up, which was done so in seconds.

Ami, shaken and apprehensive, explained to the Ambulance Technician what had happened. Furthermore, she gave her own medical criteria; short and amateurish but nevertheless helpful. The man thanked her and even invited her with some seriousness to ride with them.

Before Ami could respond, Minako rushed over and tugged her arm. "Please Ami, let ME go with her. Please", the blonde begged, her eyes glistening with despair.

The blue haired girl smiled gently and nodded. "Yes, of coarse. We'll meet you at the hospital", she said receiving a grateful embrace from the blonde.

Minako quickly climbed into the cramped space where, she and the paramedics, fitted themselves uncomfortably around Makoto. The strident siren boomed from outside and a flashing red light could be seen from the compartment's small windows. With that, they were off.

The sudden explosion of activity inside the ambulance was confusing. The two men worked diligently and didn't seem to notice the blonde's presence as they shifted from one spot to another, inserting IV's and connecting strange looking tubes all over the place. In spite of her grim state, Minako found herself blushing when one of the men tore Makoto's shirt open and began placing leads on her slow rising chest. The other man sensibly shoved the blonde aside as he placed himself at the unconscious girl's head.

"Ready for intubation"

"What?" asked Minako, sounding scared.

Her question was ignored as the man carefully tilted Makoto's head and opened her mouth. With a steady hand, he inserted a long transparent tube which slowly slid past her mouth and into her throat. Just as he was connecting the ventilator, the brunette's eyes unexpectedly burst open. She tried to move but found it was impossible, instead she moaned painfully as her head lulled from side to side in an attempt to break the straps holding her down. The two men jumped but Minako was fast to take hold of the girl's twitching hand.

"Mako-chan. Calm down. It's me Minako", said the blonde, feeling brave.

Makoto stopped moving. Her eyes were scared and confused as she turned to look at Minako who gave her a gentle squeeze and a confident, yet, forced smile. A single tear fell from the brunette's tired eye.

"Don't cry. I'm here with you". The blonde fought hard against her own returning tears. "You had an accident…we're going to the hospital so they can take care of you. I'll be with you all the way, don't worry. You'll be fine…" she managed to say before turning away to hide her sudden outbursts of tears.

Makoto squeezed her hand until she got her attention. Unable to move her mouth because of the plastic tube lodged into it, she smiled at Minako with her eyes; longing and hope penetrating the watery blue orbs. The two were so lost in each others gazes that they didn't even realize the ambulance had come to an abrupt stop. The tender moment was interrupted by the hustle of the two paramedics. The backdoor flew open, two doctors waited impatiently outside to take the patient. After making sure she was secure, Makoto was delicately taken out, Minako never letting go of her hand.

The next moments were a blur of shouts and movement. Minako ran alongside the doctors, still holding Makoto's hand, as they pushed the stretcher through the narrow and light filled corridor of the hospital. Her head spun as she tried to keep up which, she found difficult due to the numerous people buzzing around them and the loud orders given out which she did not understand. But the blonde persisted in locking her eyes with Makoto's who looked back at her with courage and lovingly. The latter went completely unnoticed by Minako who was too overwhelmed by the situation.

The corridor came to an end where two swinging doors were. The stretcher picked up speed as it rammed into the two doors which slammed open. Minako felt her hand leave Makoto's as a nurse pulled her away. Releasing herself from the woman's strong grip, the blonde ran up to the swinging doors but was unable to enter as the nurse automatically locked them.

"Mako-chan! You won't wake up alone! I promise! I'll be right here!", scram Minako as she watched through a small window on the doors, Makoto and the doctors faded away into another room. She lingered there a little while, a nurse tugged on her arm the entire time but after a few minutes gave up and left. The blonde, too lost for words or possibly anything else, stood with her body pressed against the cold doors and stared blankly at the room Makoto had been taken to. Her shaken mind decided she would stay there until the brunette came out.

"Mina-chan!" shouted Rei as she ran up to Minako who slowly turned around, her face soaked in tears. The priestess immediately swung her arms around the blonde and allowed her to sob against her chest.

Usagi and Ami jogged up to them. They said nothing. Instead the two girls joined the embrace and cried softly but whispered reassuring words to each other; the rest, they hoped but feared, was up to Makoto.

Hours filled with anxiety passed. The fours girls had moved to the waiting room but only at the insistence of several nurse and even a few doctors. Usagi and Ami, leaning against each other, had fallen asleep. The pig tailed blonde's wheezing snores was the only sound in the white depressing room. Rei sat next to them, her gaze fixed on the floor, she nervously played with her fingers.

On the far side of the room, Minako sat on the window. Her face was flushed and wet. Tired of wiping the tears away she decided to let them fall freely onto her lap. She looked out into the billowy vastness, the untouched snow reflected against the moonlight was beautiful, but she didn't notice. The impending blizzard never showed. It was almost as if the storm had waited to strike at the moment Makoto fell and then, satisfied with the morbid scene, decided to leave filled with perverse pleasure, leaving a trace of dancing snowflakes in it's place. The horrible scene replayed in the blonde's head, over and over.

Shocking images of Makoto's broken body attacked her with awesome force. She looked at her hands, a sickening red smeared across them. The blood meant something, she didn't know what but soon found herself fascinated and at the same time repulsed. If Makoto…died, would this be the last of her? The last given proof that she was once alive? Would this be…the last traces of love she could ever hope for from Makoto? Her philosophical questions faded as she returned to staring blankly out the window, saddened even deeper by her poetic moment, tempted to wipe the blood off.

The door creaked open and the four girls jumped. A man holding a writing board and sporting a white jacket stood there, his face stern but empathetic. "Are you Ms. Kino's friends?" he asked turning to look at their anxious faces. Minako jumped off the window still and fearfully walked towards him, nodding she looked up at the serious man.

"Does she have any immediate relatives we can call?", asked the doctor ignoring the blonde's desperate stares.

Ami stood up and walked over to him. "No. Not in Tokyo anyway. We're, in a manner of speaking, her sisters. She lives alone you see but nevertheless we are her family", she explained convincingly.

The doctor stared at her impassively, not sure whether to see past this unusual situation, he sighed before returning to his papers. "I see. Your sister…" he said sounding much friendlier, "…has suffered severe head trauma, apart from other serious injuries. We had to operate immediately to stop the effusive bleeding but I'm happy to report she's stable". He looked up at the beaming faces and sighed again. "Unfortunetely…she fell into a coma seconds after she was taken into the Emergency room".

The room was silent, except for Usagi's whimpers. Ami fell back into her chair, trying to absorb what she had just heard. Rei also sat down and buried her face in her hands while shaking her head.

Minako stood transfixed, staring at the grim faced doctor. "Will-will she wake up?", she stuttered.

"It's hard to say with these matters. She could wake up in the next ten minutes or in the next ten years. We'll have to monitor her brain activety to see any change developing but…", he paused, "…there's still a level of uncertainty with comas we don't comprehend. I'm sorry."

"Can we see her?", asked Minako hopefully, she involuntarily caught his sleeve.

"It would be hightly inappropriate since you are not…directly related. Visiting hours are over but if you'd like to come tomorrow then…"

"Please…", begged Minako, her eyes ached for approval as she tugged harder on his sleeve.

He looked at her thoughtfully. "Alright but only one of you. And no longer than five minutes. Understood?", he said with the air of a parent allowing his child to have a single piece of candy.

After receiving approving nods that she should be the one to go, Minako nervously followed the doctor to Makoto's room. The hospital was unusually quiet and displacing, the scent of death loitered unwelcome but always there, blood drenched scrubs draped the floors giving the most unpleasant of feelings. The blonde looked at her hands again. Makoto is alive, she thought wiping off the red evidence against her equally dirty jeans. She almost bumped into the doctor as he suddenly came to a halt.

"This is it. I'll be back in five minutes", he said ftatly, leaving Minako standing alone in front of a large bluish door. She hovered nervously before slowly entering.

Makoto lay, unmoving and expressionless, on a white linen bed surrounded by beeping machines. Both her arms in casts were suspended in the air like a puppet, hanging loosely from metal bars. Her left leg was also displayed in the same fashion. Her brown locks of hair, protruding out from her heavily bandaged head, fell over her shoulders.

Minako's heart instantly stopped. A gut wrenching feeling took over and filled her with malaise. Who is this person lying on the bed? Surely not strong Makoto. No. Never. She took a few quivering steps towards the bed, staring confused at the unfamiliar face, scared to accept the painful fact that the girl she loved was, as well as herself, mortal. Had the fall really been that bad?

She pulled up a chair and sat next to the fragile body. The silence worsened her sickened state. Powerless against her emotions, the blonde broke into tears. "M-a-ako…I'm…I'm…sorry! Please! Wa-ke up!", she wailed, the night's events finally processing in her mind to a disturbing rate.

She looked up hopefully but nothing changed. The brunette's stiff face looked dead. Minako put a shaking hand on Makoto's breast and felt through warm skin the slow thud of her heart. It was comforting.

"I'll be right here until you decide to wake up…", whispered Minako. The rhythmical thumping against her palm was so soothing that she fell asleep within minutes. She drifted into wonderful dreams where, Makoto, fully alert and healthy, kissed her longing lips…

To be continued…


	3. She's hearing voices

She's hearing voices

_Makoto…Makoto…Makoto…._

She heard her name echoing away into a distant void. Fear and confusion boiled at her insides as she realized her concept of space and time was lost. She tried to remember anything about life, a hint of where she could be, but it was useless against her empty, delirious mind. Makoto slowly opened her eyes and basked at the scene before her. It was house. The two story building gleamed in the sunlight; red bricks mounted on each other to form a rectangular shape, two lustrous windows filled with pots adorned the higher floor, a wooden roof stood out giving a slightly slanted shadow, the door was carved exquisitely with graceful patterns, vines filled with white and yellow draped the rural house.

Makoto stared in awe. It was so beautiful but for some unknown reason to her, it felt painfully nostalgic. The fresh smell of grass invaded her senses as she inspected the area. A garden surrounded the house; heavily scented green, decorated by red and yellow blossoms, on the outskirts magnolia trees stood side by side. An untainted blue sky surveyed from above the wonderful scenery.

_I'm glad to see you're awake._

A familiar voice rang next to her. Makoto turned but saw no one. She looked around nervously, the trees swayed and birds flew over graciously, but there was no sign of any other moving form. "Who's there?", she demanded into the cool breeze.

_Don't you recognize my voice?_

Of coarse she did, it was her own. Makoto looked around again but nothing had changed. "W-where am I?", she asked feeling completely perplexed by the situation.

_You mean…you don't remember?_

"No", answered Makoto feeling a little stupid. "Should I?"

_I should think so. What do you remember? _

"Nothing really. Except my name, apparently. Am I…dead?"

_Maybe. Maybe not. _

Makoto huffed in frustration. "Where am I? Who are you and why do you have my voice? Is this a trick?, she bombarded the bodiless voice with aggressive questions.

_I thought you would have figured it out by now. But then again, sensible thinking has never been your strong point. I'm here to help you Makoto. _

"Help me with what?", asked Makoto feeling slightly offended.

_You'll see in time. Isn't it lovely?_

Makoto took a few seconds to comprehend the message. She took a swift look around again but felt too puzzled to enjoy it. "Yes. What is it?"

_Look! Behind the hedge! _

From behind the green wall a little girl peeked her head out and then noisily ran between the lane of magnolia trees. Her shiny brown hair, tied into a pony tail, bounced graciously as she skipped happily through the vibrant garden. The child's emerald eyes glistened against the warm sun as she stared aimlessly at the birds above her.

"W-who is that?", asked Makoto staring at the little girl. Reminiscence tugged at her aching heart. Her brain felt empty except for a tinge of hope; like a stone cast into a never ending well, breaking the silence of the chasm for a brief moment.

_It's quite obvious. That's you. Remember that day?_

The little girl caught a butterfly. She stared at the magnificent creature with wonder, her small index finger carefully touched it's wings before it flew into the clear sky. A grown woman and man crept behind her, the grass crunching at their feet, but the little girl didn't move as she gazed at the flying beauty. The tall handsome man jumped behind his unsuspecting daughter and lifted her high above his head. The child broke into a fit of laughter as she twirled in the air, the radiant sun colored her smiling white cheeks.

The memories came flooding back. Heart wrenching and fulfilling. Everything about that day thundered down on Makoto with such impact that she felt seconds away from fainting. "My…parents…", she whispered desolately. Her eyes filled with tears as she grasped the moment with all her might.

_Yes, your parents. They loved you dearly. But…do you remember that day?_

The delicious scent of fresh flowers, the cool wrapping breeze that whistled through the swaying trees, the inviting warmth of the sun, the gentle hands that tickled her so playfully but lovingly. It all came back to Makoto. She could feel it travel rapidly through her senses; the smell, the sight, the taste, the touch, the feeling…of not being alone. "Yes. I remember"

_I'm glad. How do you feel?_

"…I don't know", said Makoto slightly smiling as she watched her mother carry the little girl. "Happy like I was but sad like I am", she said not really understanding what she meant.

_That's good. It's been awhile since your last visit._

"Yeah, it has. I can't even remember the last time I thought about this. I wonder why?"

_It's not hard to understand. The way you…run away from things._

"That's not true!"

_Oh, it isn't?_

Makoto sighed. It was useless to lie in a place so far from reason. "It hurts too much to go back, it's just… easier to forget", she said finally detaching herself from the present memory.

_Yes, hide everything that hurts inside. How practical of you_.

"You don't know what it feels like!", burst Makoto from the overwhelming grief of her memories.

_I don't? Then you must have misunderstood who I am. _

Makoto watched her mother clean some dirt from the little brown haired girl's face. "You sound like me but you're not", she whimpered.

_Think Makoto! Your heart is in the right place but your head is not! Your dreams, memories, fears…where do they all come from?_

"My…subconscious?", guessed Makoto embarrassed.

_Good girl! That wasn't so hard, now, was it? _

"You should know", answered Makoto with a hint of resentment. "What now? Are you going to refresh all my memories?"

_Not all of them, but don't fret, they'll come back to you when we're done. What concerns me is your inability to truly grasp the crucial moments in your life that you chose to ignore. _

"What's the point? What's done is done and that's it"

_Not quite. A clear perspective of the past can certainly affect the future, especially the choices you will inevitably have to make. _

Makoto sighed. She didn't understand anything. How could watching herself as a child help her in a future she was yet to remember?

The yellowish morning sun had now turned into a reddish afternoon hue. She watched as her mother walked out of the bucolic house with a plate of freshly cut watermelons and offered her husband and daughter the treat. The little girl dove straight into the watery fruit, her mouth completely covered in the sticky juice, she swallowed the watermelon in four hearty bites. Her father chuckled while her mother, wearing a scornful yet amused smile, attempted to wipe her squirming daughter's filthy mouth.

"This still seems pointless", said Makoto finally coming out of her reverie.

_Well it's not. You're still too confused to understand it, but it'll all make sense in due time. Tell me, what do you miss the most about this day?_

"My parents", scoffed Makoto, the answer felt ridiculously obvious.

_Of coarse, but what aspects of your life changed so dramatically because of their absence? What part of your current personality attributes itself to that?_

"How should I know? I can't even remember who I was - or am-whatever! How is this going to help if I don't even know where I live or who my friends are, if I even have any. Heck! I can't even remember where I was before I fell into this surreal dream!", complained Makoto.

_You are beginning to understand how important choices are, very good. _

"I still don't get it"

_Patience. Let me rephrase my question. In this very moment, aside from what you've become, how do you feel watching yourself enjoy the company of your parents. _

Makoto thought for a moment. A painful hole in her heart made itself known, the kind of aching she thought was in her control and long forgotten. "Alone…scared". Embarrassed, she quickly wiped some escaping tears.

_No one here is going to laugh at you, cry feely if you wish. Doesn't it feel better?_

"No. it feels stupid", said Makoto childishly.

_The fact that you don't cry doesn't make you brave, it makes you foolish. Doesn't all that bottled up anger bother you at all?_

"No, it doesn't", answered Makoto smugly. "What? Are you a shrink now?"

_As cheap and efficient as they come. What wonderful parents you had._

"Yeah…". Makoto watched herself cry joyously on her father's shoulders. Her mother tickled her from behind as the family pranced around the flower filled garden. "Can I…join them?"

_You can but they won't notice you. It's a closed door memory, even for you. If you do decide to join them, which you are free in your own mind to do, then it merely becomes your imagination and nothing more. _

Makoto nodded sadly and watched longingly the happy threesome. Her nostalgic moment was broken when all of the sudden her eye caught the faint site of something bright yellowish moving on the other side of the garden. She squinted her eyes carefully to get a better view. In a split second the thing dashed into a cluster of bushes and moved feverishly inside, small leaves scattering in every direction. Then the moving stopped. Makoto held her breathe as she stared anxiously, she completely ignored the sounds of her mother scowling and her father howling with laughter at the other side.

Seconds that felt like hours passed. Makoto sighed as nothing happened. Beginning to lose hope she slowly turned her head when, sudden but surely, the bush moved and a little red bow popped up from the top. Gradually the bow was followed by a set of blonde bangs, a pair of dazzling blue eyes, a tiny delicate nose and a mischievous grinning mouth. The little blonde girl with the red bow peeked out from the bush and stared fondly at the little brunette girl on the other side of the garden.

Makoto blinked. She didn't remember this at all. "W-ho is that? I don't remember her", she asked, the sight of the little blonde girl felt strangely exciting to her.

_I was just wondering when she would show up. I was sure you would remember but I'm not entirely surprised that you don't. She's not part of this memory so please try to ignore her. _

"What do you mean she's not part of this memory?, demanded Makoto as she gazed fascinated at the little blonde girl who was now down on all fours creeping towards the family. "I thought you said this was a closed door memory, how did she get in?"

_Ah, if only you could remember her this would be so much easier to explain. It seems, and I do apologize, that she was able to jump out of your memory of her and into others where she never existed. I've tried countless times to get her out but she just won't leave, but then again…she is in here because of you. _

"…Y-you mean…I know her? Who is she? Where did I meet her? Is she my age? What's her name?", asked Makoto urgently. Her heart pounded excitedly as she watched the little blonde giggle, she lay on her stomach still watching the little brunette run away from her playful mother.

_You'll see soon enough. Look how happy you were, what a gorgeous sight. _

But Makoto didn't listen or move, her eyes still fixated on the blue eyed child. It was strange gazing so captivatingly at the little blonde girl who, in turn, gazed in the exact same way at her former and younger self. Makoto drowned out the world around her, and watching the little girl, tried mightily to remember who she was and why she was so seemingly important.

_I know she's very distracting right now but please try to focus. We don't have much time here._

"Just wait a little…", replied Makoto dully.

_You'll be seeing a lot of her, you can be sure of that._

"Wait, I just want to see what she does", said Makoto. There was nothing fascinating about the little blonde girl who would burst into fits of laughter when the little brunette taunted her mother, but Makoto couldn't help looking. A warm, homely feeling tugged comfortingly at her heart.

The reddish afternoon sun vanished as night crept over and a chilly wind blew through the trees. Makoto was so taken in by the little blonde that she failed to notice the family shuffling back into the house. All was silent except for a few cluttering sounds from inside the cozy home. The little blonde girl sighed glumly, she lazily got to her feet and walked a little towards the outskirts before instantly disappearing.

"Hey! Where'd she go?", demanded Makoto angrily, still oblivious of the silence that surrounded her.

_The memory is over. There's nothing more to watch. I wish you wouldn't have wasted so much time looking at her instead of your parents. That was a silly thing to do._

"Yeah…", slurred Makoto regretfully. Why did she spend so much borrowed time on the little blonde who she couldn't even remember and neglect her parents so easily? Was she that important to her? She looked up at the house which was now completely dark except for a single light in one of the top rooms.

_Well, there's no point complaining about it now. We still have much to see. _

The light went out, it was now entirely pitch black except for the glowing light of the moon which showered over the lustrous garden.

"I-I'm sorry…I don't know what happened to me…", stammered Makoto awkwardly.

_Forget it. Now, if you'll please, tell me why you would remember this day?_

Makoto cleared her stinging throat and wept unabashed. "Because…it-it was the last day I saw them alive…", she sobbed. An instant later, the world around her was sucked into a whirlwind of colors and sounds, like traveling through another dimension. Before she could even realize what was happening, Makoto fell unconscious again, her whereabouts a complete mystery.

To be continued….


	4. Buried myself alive

Buried myself alive

The smell of incense collided with Makoto. She took a deep breathe and almost choked as the fragrant smoke stung her throat. She felt dizzy, the images and sounds still rang in her head from the previous tumult she had just experienced. She remembered being in a rural house, watching herself as a little girl play with her deceased parents. The wonderful memory still floated in Makoto's mind; she could still taste the sweet soaking watermelon in her mouth, the cool breeze still lingered against her sun warm filled skin. Then there was the little blonde girl who she knew nothing of, her twinkling blue eyes and comforting giggles ran through Makoto's veins like an addicting drug. But she regretted having missed the last moments of her parents life just to gaze dumbstruck at a little girl she couldn't even remember. And now, she had no idea where she was. Fearfully she opened her eyes.

Makoto was standing in a dark room lit only by thousands of small candles piled together in the back. The gray cement walls gave a somber feeling, like of an ancient un kept temple, the air smelled stale and saturated with strong incense. Dozens of chairs were set down in rows, in the center of them ran a long aisle; a long table with an impeccable white linen sheet on it was standing at the front. A single framed picture of her parents was placed on it for all to see. Even the white flowers set along the walls were murky and depressing. Though there were no windows, the pouring and rumbling of a storm could be heard from inside.

_If it would've been up to you this place would look beautiful. This decoration does little justice to your parents memory. What a shame. _

Makoto sighed. The voice was back. "Of all the places… you had to bring me here", she grunted holding back the tears.

_Are you really that surprised? This is the turning point of your life, everything changed from this day on. You've hidden it so well for so long…where else could I have taken you? _

"How about home, where ever that is", mumbled Makoto.

_Not just yet. It's time you recognize the magnitude of what it means to be here. _

"It doesn't mean anything! They're dead and that's that! Why does everything have to mean something? Why does this matter in a future I don't understand?", demanded Makoto as she watched a man in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie bow in front of the framed picture before taking a seat along the aisle. He was the first person to arrive and she didn't even know who he was.

_Your self-reliance, though you cannot see it I know you feel it, has it's very foundations built on this day. Brick after brick of decisions and experiences throughout your life have assembled who you are and what you will become. Today is the first chapter of your biography and you must read it to understand the end. Did I make myself clear?_

"Yeah…sort of. But I remember today, why do I have to walk through it again?"

_You remember it because I am forcing you to remember. This memory has been locked inside your mind for so long that you can't even dream of it anymore. It's like an old forgotten book that has been discarded to the back of the library where no one goes. Do you think so little of your parents?_

"I love my parents! I-I-I…just…it hurts…so much…can't you understand?", stammered Makoto in frustration.

_More than you will ever know. But the more you run away the more tired you'll get until it all becomes too much to handle. _

"I guess so"

The room was now packed with people, each person paid their respects before sitting silently on the chairs. Everyone wore black which made the scenery even more morbid and grim. Only a small group of about 7 people were standing beside the table at the front. They held each other and cried unabashed, receiving silent condolences from those who dared approach them. Makoto recognized the small group; an aunt and uncle from her father's side, two aunts from her mother's side, a mutual friend of her parents and an older couple who she would be forced to live with until her inevitable emancipation from them. The room kept filling up with people until there were no chairs left, leading them to stand against the walls. Amidst the silently grieving mourners there was a buzz of chatter from all sides of the funeral.

A disturbing silence suddenly invaded the room. All eyes were on a little brown haired girl who had just entered. She wore a dazzling pitch black kimono, her wooden sandals were also a dark color, the once green hair band was now also black. Head down and taking small steps, she made her way up the aisle, tears staining the marble floor below her. People were whispering to each other; some with pity for the unfortunate girl, others for the gossip and even a few out of spite. The little brunette reached the table, she looked longingly at the photograph of her parents and than took a long bow. The whispering ceased as everyone held their breathe.

A rush of fury ran through Makoto's bones. "Why won't they stop staring? She's just a little girl!", she barked.

_YOU were just a little girl. Yes, even at funerals people can be cruel. _

The little brown haired girl looked up nervously around her, unsure of what to do. The people were still obnoxiously staring, waiting for her to do something. Her shaking hands reached up to take the photo, fortunately her future step mother swooped in and ushered her along to where her relatives stood.

_Why were you compelled to take the photo?_

"I don't know. I thought that was what I was suppose to do. Besides, everyone was staring at me like I was about to grow wings. I didn't know any better", answered Makoto with slight amusement.

_You still don't. What would you have done now?_

"Probably bash their heads in", said Makoto, half laughing.

_Why didn't you back then?_

"I was a little girl! How could I have possibly done that?"

_Perhaps not bash their heads in…but you could have demanded some respect, even if you were a little girl. How ashamed they would have been. Why didn't you do that?_

"Because! I-wasn't like that…", said Makoto thoughtfully.

_Aha. Now were getting somewhere. _

The still chattering people were strictly hushed. The family members and close friends of the deceased took their seats at the front. A Buddhist priest walked up the aisle and placed himself at the front facing everyone. He began chanting a sutra. The little brunette took hold of one of her aunts hand and offered incense while the priest recited the sacred prayer.

Makoto sighed. "I can still remember waking up that day. It was the most ordinary morning in anyone's life but…something about the sky told me. It felt so strange, my relatives all wearing black, making up arrangements I couldn't understand, looking at me like a had some kind of infectious disease…", she whispered.

_Does that make you mad?_

"No…not really. I don't know why but it feels so…normal, to be looked at like that. But now that I think about it…who would be scared of a little girl? It's so silly"

_Yes, it is. But then again…we fear what we do not understand. _

"I guess so", said Makoto. She watched herself, so small and frightened, quickly wiping tears off her face. The adults surrounding the little brunette were completely ignoring her, except for her aunt who would shush her now and again. As if the priest deserved more respect than she did.

The funeral ceremony ended with some final words from her parents mutual friend. Two closed caskets were brought out. Careful not to reveal the bodies inside, a man subtly inserted numerous bouquets of flowers that people had brought. The two caskets were then taken outside. The relatives walked down the aisle, the mourners filing out right behind them. The storm outside was terrible; the wind was blowing rapidly, strong rains poured heavily, the dark sky grumbled with lightning. People immediately took out their umbrellas and fought against the rain.

"You know, I actually enjoyed the storm that day. It felt so appropriate", said Makoto, watching the little brunette step out from under an umbrella to be soaked by the rain, she gave a weak, almost satisfied, smile.

_How poetic of you. _

Makoto laughed. "Yeah…that was a weird thing to say".

_We all have some hidden depths. In your case, very hidden._

A large black sedan pulled up. The rear area was customized to carry a smaller version of a Buddhist temple; made from thick wood and painted lavishly with gold and scarlet. It would have been a much lovelier sight if the rain wasn't pouring down so heavily. The two caskets were placed inside the temple-style rear and the car rolled down the pavement slowly. The people, led by the deceased's relatives, followed the hearse, with great difficulty due to the storm, to the cemetery.

"I would've given anything to see their faces one more time", said Makoto, filled with sadness.

_It's a pity it was closed casket ceremony. But what a shock it would have been to see them like that. _

Makoto groaned. "You try looking good after being in a plane crash. Still, I wouldn't have minded", she muttered.

_Oh? Well that would've been an image you couldn't forget. Perhaps it would have suited you. Then you might appreciate the memory of your parents instead of chucking them into the back of your mind, like so many other ordeals you've had to face. _

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever.", mumbled Makoto. She knew the voice was right, but she would never openly admit it, at least not yet.

The little brunette, filled with tears, launched herself abruptly towards the hearse. Her scowling aunt ceased her tightly around the waist, and with the help of her uncle, held her firmly in place. The child squirmed mightily against the gripping hands on her shoulders, reluctant to give up her fight. The mourners behind them were whispering and sneering again, some even chuckled wickedly.

_What of a burden you must have been. No control whatsoever. _

"What? A burden? My parents had just died! What was I suppose to do? Hide my feelings and walk around like a robot!", fumed Makoto.

_Mm…I agree. It's a terrible thing to hide your feelings. Right?_

Makoto huffed in frustration. "Fine, I get your point. But this is different", she replied, moodily.

_How?_

"Because! I was just a little kid! I needed to cry! I needed let go of everything! If I hadn't, I would've probably exploded!" argued Makoto heatedly.

_Let me see if I understand. A child must express his or her feelings and emotions openly, but adults certainly may not. What a paradox you've created for yourself. _

"Yeah, well…that's my problem", grumbled Makoto.

The hearse stopped as well as everyone behind it. The two caskets were taken out and carried through a black gate which led to the cemetery; thousands of stone monuments covered the green wet area, assortments of colorful flowers scattered everywhere due to the powerful rush of wind, even the numerous cherry tree blossoms were completely bare and leafless. The people walked down through a stony path between the graves, following the men who carried the caskets. After a winding and long walk, they arrived to a large subtly decorated crypt, completely made of shiny gray stone, above it the name "Kino" was engraved.

_One day you'll be buried in there. Is that…frightening to you?_

"No. It suits me just fine", said Makoto firmly.

_So death doesn't frighten you? How odd._

"There are worse things than being dead", retorted Makoto, sullenly. She had developed a splitting headache from what seemed like hours of holding back her tears, her temples pounded as she felt the veins swell, ready to burst.

The two caskets were carried down to the burial chamber. Outside, the priest recited another prayer. The relatives stood closer to the crypt, the rest hung uncomfortably behind them, obviously the rain had more then dampened their mood. The little brunette was completely consumed by fits and tears, she ignored her aunts bickering beside her. And then, like magic, a little blonde girl with a red bow tied in her hair popped up behind the Kino crypt. No one noticed her, except for Makoto.

"Look! Look! It's that little girl again!", cried Makoto excitedly. Her throbbing headache was replaced by the rapid beating of her heart. A strange familiarity and longing captivated her once aggravated mind.

_Yes, yes, it's all very exciting. Now will you please pay attention. You wouldn't want to miss your parents funeral just to goggle at her. _

"Yeah I would", said Makoto thoughtlessly. She watched with wonder as the little blonde girl carefully made her way towards the little brunette.

_You're wasting your time. She doesn't belong in this memory. You'll be seeing her later, a lot. Why won't you listen to me?_

Makoto ignored the bodiless voice. She held her breathe ready to see what the mysterious little girl was going to do.

The little blonde's face was distraught as she approached the little brunette who was engulfed in wracking sobs. Again, no one noticed her. The blonde tried to hug the brunette but was completely ignored, like an invisible ghost. Then she attempted to wipe some of the overflowing tears from the little brunette's face which obviously failed. Resigned and miserable, the little blonde gave the brunette a gentle kiss on the cheek which also went unnoticed. She stood next to the orphaned little girl, glancing at her, tears sprinkling from her beautiful blue eyes.

"W-who is she? Why does she care so much? I need to know, please tell me", urged Makoto in a broken voice.

_I can't, not now. She is of no use to this memory. Completely inconsequential. _

"Than why does she keep showing up? Tell me!", demanded Makoto.

_No. So please stop badgering me about it. Your inpatient moping will just have to wait. Besides, were almost out of time. _

The priest finished his sacred speech and bowed respectfully before leaving. The people at the back also bowed and walked away, shielding themselves from the wet wind. The family and close friend stood in the pouring rain, each gave their ceremonious offering. The little brunette placed a single pink rose on the grave before her, her shaking hand covered by the blonde's. A fierce bolt of lightning struck hard in the distance which made the two little girls jump. Above and around them, the adults were discussing, giving the little brunette worried looks.

Makoto sighed. "They should have just given me to an orphanage, I could've at least made some friends…maybe", she whispered.

_Maybe, maybe not. Thinking about these things will only make you feel worse. _

The adults stopped arguing and nodded to each other before looking down at the little brunette. Her aunts and uncle gave her a quick kiss and hug then left. The mutual friend was more sympathetic, he squeezed her tight and whispered some friendly words to her which made her smile. The elderly couple were the only one's left. The woman smiled warmly at the little brunette before taking her hand and tugging her away from the grave.

"They weren't bad people, but they weren't my parents", said Makoto, excusing herself for what was to come.

The little brunette scram and fought with all her might, her outstretched hand tried to reach the stone crypt, the little blonde tried to help her but it was useless. The grown woman pulled the brunette harder and harder towards her, the ground below their feet sliding with mud. With a great heave the woman was able to drag the distressed girl away and towards the path leading to the exit. The little blonde ran behind them but quickly lost them in the blur of the storm. With her head down and tears rolling down her flushed cheeks, she walked away and disappeared into the dark mist.

_It's time to go. Ready?_

"I guess", said Makoto staring at her parents grave one last time, "Anywhere sounds better than here".

_Don't be so sure of that. _

The world around Makoto vanished as colors and sounds surrounded her. Though she had experienced this once before, it was still uncomfortably dizzy and confusing. A few seconds later the roller coaster like experience ended. The feeling of being knocked out invaded Makoto as it all went dark.

To be continued…


	5. Where I end and you begin

Where I end and you begin

Makoto's head felt like a ton of bricks. The experience of jumping from one memory to another was beginning to wear her down. She had just re-lived her parents funeral, a heart wrecking occasion which she had avoided for most of her life. Watching herself as a little girl go through that was terribly agonizing, except for the little blonde girl who stood by her side even when she went completely disregarded. The question of who she was still lingered insistently in her mind.

Reliant on her senses, Makoto examined her destination thoroughly before opening her eyes. The air smelled fragrant and clean, her landing was soft and smooth, she could taste the pure atmosphere in her mouth. Hopeful that her current location was far better then her previous one, she slowly opened her eyes. It was a semi dark room; a thin outline of light penetrated through closed drapes, the walls were white with a few paintings of landscapes on it, from the ceiling hung various kinds of plants and flowers, between two wooden cabinets there was a queen size bed and in it, an unmoving body covered itself with thick sheets.

_Nice place, isn't it?_

Makoto smiled weakly. The voice was much more reassuring than before. "Yeah, it is. So clean and fresh. I'm actually glad to be here", she said observing the room. Even though she knew she had done it herself, she couldn't help feeling proud, like a mother would be of her child.

_Don't get your hopes up. It seems like any other day, but it isn't. You'll remember soon enough. _

"I don't care what day it is, as long as I'm not at my parents funeral", said Makoto dourly. She looked at the bed and felt a sudden urge to climb into it's warmth and sleep soundly.

_Alright, as you wish. I just don't want you to think this is going to be any better. _

"ANYTHING is better"

An annoying ringing buzzed from the top of one of the cabinets. A lazy hand emerged from under the bed sheets and hit the shaking and loud alarm clock. A long yawn was heard before the covered body swung the heavy sheets off. It was a teenage girl with long brown locks tied into a ponytail, her body was quite developed despite her age; she had long slender legs and arms, she seemed rather tall and awkward, her half closed emerald eyes shun against the little light coming in from the window.

Makoto snickered. "Boy, was I dorky", she giggled.

_What did you expect? You were only fourteen. Everyone feels clumsy at that age. _

"Believe me, I felt more than clumsy. Still, I have to admit, I did keep a respectfully tidy place", said Makoto, beaming with pride.

_Yes you did. You became a perfectly self-sufficient teenager. Your parents would have been proud. It's a shame you were so lonely. _

"Mm…it wasn't so bad. As far as I can remember…"

The brunette teenager stood up, stretched, and checked the time on the alarm clock on her bedside table. It was seven o'clock in the morning. She sighed before sluggishly walking to her spotless kitchen. She poured herself a glass of juice and drank it while she waited for her bread to burn. Once the toast was ready she slowly smothered it with butter and jam, with wolfish bites she finished it in a couple of minutes.

"Oh…I feel embarrassed", snorted Makoto, her face feeling hot.

_You weren't a little girl anymore. But why should you feel embarrassed? It's not new to me._

"I don't know, it's weird to see myself at that age. I look so…lost", said Makoto glumly.

_Well, you did live alone. Bad time to go through puberty. But you'd be surprised how little you've actually grown up. _

Makoto rolled her eyes. "Why do you keep saying stuff like that? What terrible thing could I have possibly done?", she said watching the teenage brunette wash the dishes idly, almost dropping one in the process.

_You'll know soon enough, patience is…_

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You're not going to tell me", interrupted Makoto quickly, she had grown tired of the voice's pestering lessons.

The teenage brunette had moved to the bathroom to wash her face and teeth. After that was done, she walked over to the bedroom and anxiously took out a extended garment from her dresser; it was a long light brown skirt, dreadfully plain. She then pulled out a long sleeved shirt with traces of the same brown on the cuffs and collar, the outfit was obviously a school uniform. The tall girl sighed before hastily slipping into the attire. From one of her cabinets, she took out and piece of paper filled with class schedules and hours, she bit her lip nervously as her eyes ran down the extensive list.

"No, no, not today. Let's go, please! I REALLY don't want to go through this again", groaned Makoto pleadingly. How could she have forgotten what was going to happen on that particular morning. The voice was right, it wasn't just any other day.

_I told you not to get your hopes up. I'm terribly sorry but you're just going to have to ride it out. It's for your own good. _

Makoto gave a long dreading sigh. "Fine, like I have a choice. Will she be there?", she asked hopefully.

_Who?_

"The little blonde girl with the red bow. She seems to have a little empathy for me, hope she shows up", replied Makoto thoughtfully. Deep inside she was excited and optimistic that the little blonde would pop up, even experiencing that vile day was worth it if she could just see her again.

_Yes, we'll probably be seeing her. I hope you realize how foolish you've been obsessing about her, especially since you can't even remember who she is. _

"Yeah, well…at least she's nice and caring. Unlike some people who get a jolly out of pinpointing my apparently numerous defects", said Makoto in exasperation.

_Touchy, aren't we?_

The tall girl swung her school bag over her shoulder, grabbed her keys, and exited the lonesome apartment. Outside, the day was clear and sunny, people could be seen waiting for the bus or walking down the street, the stores and restaurants were just beginning to open, teenagers in their school uniforms walked side by side laughing and joking. The brunette stared at them longingly, wishing she had some friends of her own. It was the first day at her new school, having been "asked" to leave her previous one due to an ostensible fight, and she was more anxious than ever.

"I felt like throwing up the entire day", Makoto sighed, "It was awful. Even the kids from other schools made fun of me", she said watching three teenage girls with blue, white and red uniforms brush past the tall brunette importantly before breaking into malicious fits of laughter.

_At least you were old enough to bash their heads in, am I right?_

"More like stupid enough", scoffed Makoto.

Head and shoulders bent, the teenage brunette pushed her way through the crowds of students chattering at her new school. No one even noticed the tall girl slithering in between them. She looked ahead and smiled hopefully at the entrance to the building. She sprinted towards it, and just as she was about to make it, something caught her foot causing her to fall over with a thunderous crash. The air was suddenly filled with shrieks of laughter and cackling, students had gathered around the brunette to gawk and point at her, many were doubled over with sniggering jests. Face flushed with embarrassment and anger, the tall girl craned her neck to see a boy her age grinning evilly, leaning against a tree, his foot sticking out where she had been walking.

_Mean little brutes, aren't they?_

"I know where this is going. Couldn't we please go somewhere else?", begged Makoto, her eyes traveling along the sneering students who watched the brunette slowly get up off the floor.

_I thought you were anxious to see the little blonde girl. If we leave, she might not show up again. _

"I do want to see her! But this-this is too much", stammered Makoto, but she thought about the blonde and those shimmering blue eyes that dazzled her so. Sighing heavily she gave up. "Fine. Let's get it over with".

Fists clenched and lip quivering, the brunette walked over the boy who tripped her, his mouth was twisted into a wicked grin but his proud chest instantly shrunk as the tall girl made her superior height evident. Her stare penetrated his glossy eyes, she made a motion to raise her fist, her whole body shaking with anger. The crowds around them grew silent, some people even took a few steps back, their wide eyes moving from the girl to the boy and back. The brunette quickly looked up thoughtfully before calming down, she gave the boy one last menacing look, then turned her heel and walked away towards the building.

_Why did you think twice before hitting him? He certainly deserved it._

Makoto snorted. "Do you think I wanted to be kicked out again? Third school in less than two years?", she said aggressively.

_Well, at least there were plenty of schools around your area. _

"Very funny", snapped Makoto. "I wonder if I even got through high school", she said hoping for an answer.

_Would this seem more important to you if you didn't? _

"No"

_Then stop obsessing about it and try to learn something from this. You couldn't even imagine how important today is so try to enjoy it. _

"Yeah, okay. I'll try to enjoy it! Look! The other kids are making fun of me behind my back! How wonderful!" sneered Makoto sarcastically.

Sure enough the students, led by the obnoxious boy, were taunting the tomboyish brunette as she walked away. Her body began to shake again as her fists curled up into tight balls, her cheeks grew red as persistent tears rolled down her tense face. She came to a sudden halt and slowly turned around. The excited crowd ooh'd and ahh'd, their eyes narrowing maliciously as the tall girl took strident steps towards the now cowering boy. One student cried "FIGHT!" and was soon followed in sync by the rest of the crowd. From the doors of the building behind the brunette, a teenage blonde with a red ribbon stuck her head out, she stared at the defensive tall girl with worry and angst. Makoto quickly caught sight of her and breathed relieved as she watched the blonde sprint towards the brawl.

_Your friend is back again. She looks a lot older, doesn't she?_

"She's beautiful…", whispered Makoto gazing love struck at the blonde's well developed body. Her delicate face and passionate blue eyes gleamed against the sunlight, completely hypnotizing Makoto in her spot.

_I thought you'd say that which means you'll probably be more distracted than ever. Right?_

"Uh-uh", stuttered Makoto thickly, her eyes never leaving the blonde's lovely grown form.

The brunette was now standing face to face with the shorter frightened boy, behind her, the teenage blonde was shouting defiant words at the animated crowd but obviously she was completely invisible to them. The boy, pushed by his peers who yelled eagerly, puffed his chest valiantly and shoved the brunette who didn't even budge. In one quick move she pinned him against the tree and held him in place as he squirmed and fought against her overwhelming strength. The boy, flushed with embarrassment and reluctant to put in the towel, kicked the brunette in the stomach causing her let go and double over in pain. The crowd cheered, but the boy didn't even enjoy it as he was fast to disappear behind his posse of loathsome friends. The blonde quickly ran to the bent over girl and tried to soothe her, but she was ignored as the brunette jerked up and stomped over to the group of gloating boys. Their faces fell and they stepped aside when the enraged girl made her way over, the boy stood cowering, his eyes wide with fear. In a blink of an eye, the tall girl's fist swiftly connected with the boy's nose, with a loud crunch and spatter of blood flying everywhere, the boy cried out and fell back, his hands covering his red face.

_Smart move. Breaking his nose, I mean. Did it hurt?_

"Yeah but it also felt great", replied Makoto pleased. The blonde was jumping up and down happily as she cheered for the brunette.

_Too bad your joy didn't last long. _

The crowd had gone crazy. People were yelling and shrieking at the sight of blood. The boy, surrounded by his friends and random people with worried looks, was crying and pointing an accusing and shaking finger at the anxious brunette. All around the students were threatening the tall girl who stood confused, behind her, the blonde shot back curses and threats of her own. Before she could register, the brunette was being dragged back by a man sporting a shabby brown suit who pulled her hastily into the school's main building.

"Here we go", sighed Makoto as she watched the man and brunette quickly enter the principal's office, the blonde trailing behind them.

_Believe me, you'll soon be glad this happened._

Inside the office, the principal sat facing the shaking girl, he looked at her shamefully before breaking into hysterical screams and scowls. The tall brunette hid her face as tears drenched her flushed cheeks, she stared down at the floor, a wave of unease twisting her insides. In the corner, the blonde stood crying as she watched the girl quiver with sobs. After a long series of shouts and cleverly hidden insults, the principal, huffing and puffing, lowered his flailing arms and cupped his hands on the table before him. With a long frustrated sigh, he took out a piece of paper and pushed it under the brunette's nose. Hand shaking, she took the paper and read it nervously.

"Transfer papers to some place called Azabu Juban High School. I wonder how long I lasted there", said Makoto glumly.

_You'll be in for a big surprise._

After reading the long paper, the brunette placed it on the table and took a pen offered by the man in front of her. Reluctantly, she signed her name at the bottom and slid the paper back to the principal. He quickly checked it and put it in one the his drawers. With a knowing look, he lazily rolled his hand, inviting the tall girl to leave his office and most certainly the school premises. She got up, gave him a sour look, and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Wow. That was riveting", said Makoto mockingly as she watched the tall brunette quicken her pace before sprinting along the corridor, the blonde fast on her heels.

_It is amazing how you got kicked out on the first day. But…it was for the best. _

The teenage brunette ran furiously through the streets, pushing and ignoring the staring people who she encountered. Behind her, the blonde yelled encouraging words as she tried to keep up with the tall girl's long strides, but her kind words and muscle aching efforts went ignored. They reached a tall building, the brunette rushed up the stairs, unlocked her apartment and hastily flung herself inside, the breathless blonde following her every move.

"Well, I guess it's time to go", said Makoto urgently.

_Not yet._

The tear filled brunette chucked her bag fiercely on the couch in the living room. She paced around the apartment cursing under her breathe, now and then punching the air around her. The blonde stood out of her way with an apprehensive look, her heart broken into a million pieces, she clutched her collar tightly. The tall girl ran into her room and threw herself carelessly on the bed, body curled up into a ball, she cried as her whimpers echoed through the lonely apartment. The blonde, reluctant at first, crawled onto the bed and wrapped her arms tenderly around the brunette, her fragile arms attempting to stiffen the shaking form. She placed sweet kisses on the girl's quivering back, and in minutes the two girls fell asleep.

"I wish she'd really been there. Nothing would have mattered then", whispered Makoto longingly.

_Calm your aching heart, she'll soon be there for you. Are you ready to see what makes today a wonderful day?_

"Promise she'll be there?", asked Makoto hopefully.

_Of coarse. _

The dizzy journey to the next memory had grown on Makoto. She ignored the confusing sounds and images as they soared past her. An optimistic sense ran through her body as her longing heart pumped eagerly against her chest, she would finally remember who the beautiful blonde was.

To be continued…


	6. A time to be so small

A time to be so small

The first thing Makoto felt when she regained consciousness was cold slush stinging her face. Her fingers, nose and cheeks felt numb from the cold breeze slapping against her bare skin. A loud billowing rang in her ears; the air smelled thick with firewood burning and a small trace of pine , the weak warmth of the sun barely shun through the cloudy sky. She could hear birds cawing and flapping restlessly above her, dead leaves fell gently on her head as she stirred a little, still wound up from the previous twister-like journey. Makoto felt extremely tired and even considered laying there and falling asleep, but a sudden electrifying sensation rushed through her body; unlike her prior memories, this one bared down on her with great excitement. She would finally remember who the blonde girl was and why she mesmerized her so. The tingling sensation gathered in the tips of her fingers as she closed her eyes tightly, the anxiety and anticipation were too overwhelming.

_It's not so bad once you get used to it. _

Makoto's dreamy state was cut short, she immediately opened her eyes and slowly surveyed the area. "Wow…where am I?", she asked fascinated as she looked at the snow covered forest surrounding her. She gradually stood up and noticed smoke rising from a small wooden cottage a few feet away from her; two stone lanterns shun brightly on her right, a long brownish trail between them led to the modest cabin.

_I don't believe it. This is one of your fondest memories and you don't remember? _

"Relax! Just give me a minute!", snapped Makoto. She looked around carefully, a small sense of nostalgia tugging at her mind, but as much as she tried the place seemed mostly unfamiliar. "Yeah…I sort of remember", she said untruthfully.

_I know when your lying, so I urge you to refrain from it. Nothing comes to mind?_

Makoto stared thoughtfully at the cottage. "Mm…I can't think of what exactly but…it feels painfully familiar…" - she lowered her voice - "Something about the blonde girl…", she said hopefully.

_Good guess! Are you anxious to see her?_

"Yes!", shouted Makoto eagerly, her cheeks turned red with embarrassment from her sudden outburst of excitement.

_Get ready, it's almost time._

Makoto eyes darted everywhere, she held her breathe as her insides tightened with nervousness. The air was filled with silence except for the reckless fidgeting of the birds and Makoto's squirming feet against the scraping snow. Her heart stopped as she suddenly heard voices approaching from the other side of the cottage, she couldn't make out what they were saying or who they belonged to, but it was clear there was more than two people. The voices grew louder and clearer by the second, and before she could see who they belonged to, Makoto was suddenly hit by a powerful surge.

"U-Usagi? Oh my god! That's Usagi's voice! I can't believe it! How could I forget!", cried Makoto on the verge of tears. A warm joyous feeling swelled in her heart as the memories flooded her shivering body.

_Wonderful! You remember!_

Two more voices triggered Makoto's foggy mind. "Rei-chan! Ami-chan! This-this is incredible…!", she shrieked excitedly, the three girls she finally remembered made their way out of the forest, sporting heavy jackets and knitted hats and gloves, and walked to the cozy cabin. They stayed there chatting and giving frustrated looks towards the snowy forest. Makoto beamed as her eyes swelled with tears of happiness, the loneliness she had felt for most of her life vanished at the sight of her friends.

_You must feel truly happy right now. _

"Yeah…", whispered Makoto as she gawked at the three girls. "This-was my first birthday with them…the best birthday I've ever had", she said in an undertone.

_You were very fortunate to have such good friends, they care about you a lot._

But before Makoto could respond, two gut wrenching voices echoed out from the forest. Her insides turned to jelly and her eyes stared fixedly, she began feeling lightheaded as the gracious sounds grew closer. Time stopped as everything around Makoto froze, she forgot how to breathe as a golden haired girl with a red bow came into view, beside her a tall brunette grinned as she listened to the girl's cheerful banter. The two girls walked up to the other three girls and joined in, Rei scowling them for having taken so long.

_Well, there she is. _

Makoto was speechless, she tried to say something but she could only muster a strange grunt, tears independently falling from her eyes. She completely ignored what was happening and being said by the cluster of girls, she could only stare transfixed at the gorgeous blonde.

_What a wonderful sight. How do you feel?_

Makoto shook herself from her trance and blushed. "Uh…stupid?", she answered flatly. More tears leaked out, but she wiped them away forcefully.

_You shouldn't. Sometimes we think about something so much that it can easily be forgotten in the silliest of circumstances. _

Makoto scoffed. "Yeah, but Minako? How could I possibly forget her?", she said unbelievingly and completely ashamed, like she had just committed the foulest of crimes.

_You didn't exactly forget her, now did you? She showed up in your previous memories, right?_

Makoto nodded slowly. "I guess, but why is that?", she asked as she watched Minako happily cling her arm around the brunette's who blushed, the two followed Ami and the other two girls into the warm cottage.

_You tell me. _

Makoto chuckled nervously and quickly walked up to one of the cabin's windows. Inside, the brunette, who looked a little awkward but pleased, was surrounded by the other four girls who cheered for her. The dining room was filled with balloons and a long banner which read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKOTO!, painted sloppily with a dark green and surrounded by mushy hearts, it was undoubtedly the brilliant work of Minako. In the middle, an accommodating table stretched out; on top of a festive tablecloth five places were arranged with plates, cutlery, glasses and bright party favors. A large uneven birthday cake stood at the head of the table, filled with candles and smudged with green another HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKOTO. Chuckling, Makoto looked at the faulty cake and immediately thought of Usagi.

_You still haven't told me._

"What's the point? You already know", said Makoto impatiently, she was much too concentrated on her friends, especially Minako, to answer questions the voice already knew the answers to.

_But my concern is that you don't or at least you won't openly admit it. _

"What? That I like Minako? There I said it! Happy?", Makoto said hoarsely. She suddenly realized she had never actually said it out loud, and much to her surprise, it felt incredibly uplifting.

_You only…"like" Minako? I think not._

Makoto shook her head and huffed in frustration. "Let's not, okay?", she sighed.

Inside the cottage, Rei and Ami were bringing out large bowls filled with assorted foods. The sizzling scent of cooking invaded Makoto from outside, she longed to walk in and join the pleasant feast. She watched amused as Rei examined one of the dishes and began to shake her head disapprovingly at Usagi and Minako. Ami began to giggle and the brunette placed a gentle hand on Rei's shoulder and smiled wistfully.

"Really, they should have at least let me cook", chuckled Makoto warmly.

_Was it really that bad?_

Makoto thought for a moment then beamed. "It was the most delicious meal of my life", she whispered longingly.

The clatter of knives and forks could be heard from outside. The five girls ate heartedly as they chattered and joked happily. The brunette was the only one who seemed quiet, her eyes glistened with emotion while she watched her four friends celebrate her once ignored birthday. Sitting next to her, Minako shot mischievous glances at her, the two flushed every time their eyes met. Once the meal was finished, Ami, with the help Rei, cleared the table and took out smaller plates for the cake. The air was suddenly filled with singing voices, sitting in front of the candle lit cake, the brunette was as red as a cherry, she shifted nervously but blissful as four pairs of eyes stared at her with joy. After the song was done, the four girls clapped eagerly as the brunette blew out all the candles in one go.

_What did you wish for?_

"I wished that moment would never end", said Makoto quietly. "I could stay here forever", she said dazed as she watched her four friends embrace the brunette warmly.

_You could…if you really wanted to._

"Really? How?", asked Makoto quickly, the idea sounded very appealing.

_Well…you see, it's difficult. I wouldn't recommend it, at least not now. Look! Presents!_

The brunette was hastily unwrapping a present Rei had just given her. She pulled out a green sleeveless shirt, Chinese-style, embroidered with a darker green lace. The brunette's eyes grew wide as she held out the stunning garment, in one quick move she pulled Rei into a bone crushing embrace. After a few minutes of complementing the gift, Ami handed a rectangular parcel to the taller girl who eyed her suspiciously. She opened it to find a rather heavy and large cooking book, the edition was beautiful and very classy. Mouth hanging open, the brunette turned a couple of pages before thanking Ami with a powerful hug. Usagi, smiling proudly, separated the two girls and practically shoved her gift under the brunette's nose. She took the badly wrapped box and opened it, inside was a photo album, she slowly opened it and saw that the first few pages were filled with recent pictures of the five friends. The brunette was lost for words, she looked up and was caught off guard by the flashing of a camera. Usagi and the rest howled with laughter at the face the brunette had just made, she laughed too and embraced the pigtailed blonde warmly.

"I wonder if I still have that album, I hope so", said Makoto, beaming.

_You don't need it. Just use your head._

"A lot of good that's done me", hissed Makoto annoyed.

_It's your own fault you choose to forget these things, don't blame me._

"By the way, what's so bad about this memory? I mean, I understand why it's important but this isn't like the other one's. Nothing really terrible happened today, at least not that I can remember", asked Makoto quizzically. She watched Usagi frantically take pictures of everything, especially Rei's fiery annoyed face who tried to take the camera away.

_It's crucial you see this memory from the outside. Things have a way of changing when looked at from a different perspective. Yours, I'm afraid, has been quite blinding. _

"Fine. I'll take your word for it", muttered Makoto dismissively.

The brunette was eyeing her presents carefully as Usagi, Ami and Rei ran around with the camera, they made quite a scandal inside the modest cottage but it gave a warm pleasant feeling. Minako slowly made her way over to the brunette and looked at her with dazzling eyes, she stood on her tip toes and whispered something into the taller girl's ear which made her eyes grow wide. Minako blinked at her then ran off blushing to join the other three girls. The brunette gave a boyish grin and slumped back into her chair, her face hot and red.

_What did she say to you?_

Makoto sighed happily. "She wanted to give me my present in private", she whispered completely love sick.

_Looks like you weren't the only one with a secret crush._

"Oh come on! Minako? No way! She's not like that!", snapped Makoto indignantly.

_Why not? Would that be too hard to handle?_

"W-What? No! I-I mean…she wouldn't…huh?", stuttered Makoto nervously.

_Can you honestly tell me, given the chance, that you would confess your feelings to her if she felt the same way? _

Makoto thought of lying but knew it was pointless. "She doesn't feel the same way, so it doesn't matter", she said flatly.

_Turning a blind eye again, aren't you?_

Makoto, ill-tempered, decided to ignore the voice and watched as the five girls flung on their jackets, gloves and hats. They left the cottage and stepped out into the billowy outdoors. The sun had begun to set as a reddish outline with a purple hue surrounded the horizon. The moon was beginning to make itself present on the other side, despite the winter climate the air was smooth and calm. The five girls grabbed large pieces of firewood and chugged them together in a pile, around it, they placed three longer and thicker pieces for them to sit on. With the help of none other than Rei, they were able to produce a tall flickering fire, it's warmth enveloped them as the flames licked their bright faces.

_It looks to me like she's especially fond of you._

Minako sat next to the brunette and scooted over until they were both touching. She looked up at the taller girl and gave her a wide smile, she then hooked their arms and rested her head on her shoulder, staring contently at the intense flame. The brunette sat frigid and unmoving, too scared the lose the warm body beside her. With one long breathe she took the blonde's hand in hers and held it firmly. Minako giggled as she felt the brunette's hand tremble over hers, so she simply squeezed it tightly to reassure her.

_How could you deny she has feelings for you? Look at her! _

"Because she's just like that! I know her, she always acts flirty with everyone!", said Makoto hotly.

_Then why is she acting like that with you? Why not with someone else?_

"Um…I don't know. Maybe because it's my birthday?", said Makoto mockingly.

_Fine. Believe what you'd like. It's seems I'll never get some sense into that dense head of yours. _

"Yeah, what a pity", groaned Makoto.

The four girls sitting around the bonfire were hushed in silence as Rei told them a scary story. Usagi whimpered as she clutched the collar of her jacket tightly. Ami, quiet and interested, listened to the story calmly. Minako was practically sitting on the brunette as she clung onto her with all her might. The taller girl pulled her close and whispered kind words under her breathe. Makoto noticed that every time the brunette wasn't looking, Minako would lose her frightened face and smile mischievously, still clinging tightly to the girl next to her. Rei finished the story with an unexpected "BOO!" which made even Ami jump. Usagi howled terrified as she launched herself back into the cottage. Rei laughed and got up, she yawned as she stretched, Ami did the same. The two girls congratulated the brunette again and said goodnight, leaving Minako and the taller girl sitting alone watching the dancing fire.

"I thought you said something bad was going to happen", said Makoto wearily, she too felt very tired.

_I never said something bad was going to happen. Just something you should've noticed a long time ago._

Minako smiled at the brunette and pulled her up, she led her along the path to where the two stone lanterns stood. The only light shining came from the moon above them, it silhouetted against them as they stood face to face, holding hands. Minako gently pulled away from the brunette's grasp and took out a small box from her jacket. She surveyed it before handing it over. The taller girl took it and slowly opened it, her eyes glistened as she carefully slid out a golden necklace with a heart shaped locket on it. She looked down at Minako with an expression of awe, the blonde gestured her to open it. With a tiny click, the locket opened to reveal a photo of the blonde on one side and the brunette on the other.

_I don't think a lot of friends give each other heart shaped lockets. Do you?_

"Of coarse they do!", croaked Makoto unbelievingly.

The brunette stared in disbelief at the locket. She looked completely bewildered and nervous, un sure of what to do. Below her, Minako looked hopeful and excited, she stared impatiently up at the taller girl who gave her a weak smile. The blonde inched a little closer, her hands grabbing the brunette's again, their bodies pressed against each other. The taller girl trembled as she moved closer to Minako's face, their lips almost touching, one small move and they would kiss. Inches away from the blonde's lips, the brunette stopped, sighed and surprised her with a friendly hug and thank you. Eyes wide and with an expression of shock, Minako pulled away and tried to smile before lamely yawning and running off into the cabin. The brunette stood there transfixed, staring at the golden locket in her hand, she swiftly pocketed it before silently walking off into the dark forest.

_Why on earth didn't you kiss her?_

Makoto's mouth had swung open in sheer disbelief. "I-I-I-was…confused! Did-did-she really want to…kiss me? No! It can't be! Why didn't I kiss her?", she muttered furiously.

_Because you were scared. You love her too much. _

"No, it didn't really happen that way. I don't remember that at all", said Makoto stubbornly.

_Yes it did. Go into the cabin and see for yourself. _

Makoto walked unwillingly towards the cottage, just as she was inches away, she could hear a faint sobbing coming from inside. She peered through the window and saw Rei holding Minako who cried uncontrollably against her shoulder. The priestess rubbed the blonde's back kindly, now and then glancing up at the door, obviously worried that the brunette might come back. Minako shook terribly as she wept unabashed and moaned.

_You do realize that she's crying because of you._

"I don't understand. Why didn't she say anything? No, none of this is true. It can't be", said Makoto coldly, her eyes hardening as they fell on Minako.

_I'm offering to help you, but if you're reluctant to believe it then we'll end it here._

"No!", cried Makoto quickly. "I want to stay. I want to ask her!", she demanded.

_We cannot stay. It's on to the next memory, if that is what you wish. _

"I do want the next memory. But please, let me make this right!", Makoto begged, she began to make her way to the front of the cabin.

_No! it's too late. We're off!_

Before Makoto could take another step she was instantly sucked into the dreadful whirlwind of sounds and colors. She hoped, beyond logic and reality, that her next memory was with Minako, and that in some courage filled moment, she had found it in her heart to finally kiss her.

To be continued…


	7. Blood Red Summer

Sorry for the very long delay. I hope you enjoy the next part of the story. Thanx to ringroad25 for the help, espero que ya estes feliz de que siga con la historia. Mexico va a ganar el mundial! jajaja. Enjoy and please review!

Blood Red Summer

Like waking from a short but very intense dream, Makoto jerked her eyes open as she plummeted face first into a warm, uneven yet soft surface. The soft hiss of waves and a cool breeze reached her senses instantly, proving she was still alive and capable enough to slightly enjoy the calm around her. The brunette licked her lips before spitting out the sand, crunching in her teeth, and adorning the inside of her mouth. She looked up to the find a long streak of moonlight hovering over the ocean; luminous and blue, it rode between two rock formations, giving it the shape of a crescent moon.

_You know what this is._

"It's a beach or do you mean...do I know this is another memory? I get it." Makoto said as she lifted herself up from the glowing sand and wiped the small fragments off.

_Did you imagine to be in two places which are so different? _

"No, I..." Makoto began to say but stopped when it finally hit her. Twisting around to find palm trees and blooming flowers, the skies above her clear and filled with stars, she shook her head in disbelief. "It's summer, how...? The last memory...my birthday...it was in winter!" she complained.

_It was winter. Now it's summer. Good observation._

"So...for half a year...there was no other important memory? Nothing? Not even a glance, a touch? Nothing?" Makoto demanded angrily to the floating voice.

_You two were senshi. The little time you shared was with the others. Besides, after the incident on your birthday, it took awhile for things to go back to normal. You can't act surprised. _

Makoto frowned and held her chin in thought "Alright, that might be true. Still, isn't there anything?" she asked hopefully.

_There's always something. There always was small and brief moments between you two. But they were so feeble that going back would be a waste of time. Let's concentrate on where we are now. _

Tired of bickering and getting nowhere, Makoto nodded and looked over to her left where just across a huddle of swaying palm trees, movement could be seen as well as the flickering red and orange of a fire.

_I don't need to tell you. Go ahead._

Guided against the night by the shining moon, Makoto walked nervously along the shoreline of the beach, the sand at her feet still moist and soft from the afternoon tide. Hearing voices, she stopped and hid herself behind a palm tree. With a loud snort, Makoto remembered she could not be seen or heard and therefore walked calmly into the opening just beyond the cluster of trees.

"Usagi-chan! Grab that other pole!" Rei cried as she and Ami held a crumpling tent while Usagi, at the other end, tried rearranging the sheets of fabric on their shelter.

"Give me a minute! The sand's getting in!" Usagi replied, frustrated.

"There won't be a place for sand to get in if you help!" Rei urged, feeling the pole she held stagger. Ami, beside her, also struggled to keep herself from falling under the weight.

Makoto giggled as she watched her friends argue. She had reached an opening surrounded by plants and small pieces of wood left by old boats. The open area was it by a roaring fire which in turn lit five girls trying to hoist their tents up. Sloppily, the sand around them was filled with discarded items including clothes, food in bags and an unassembled grill.

"I have a feeling this will turn out badly but I'm actually enjoying it" Makoto said, chuckling. She waited for a response but nothing came. The only sounds around her were Usagi and Rei shouting between blowing raspberries at each other.

"Hello? Hello?" - Makoto said into the wind, looking around - "Are you there?" she asked with a cry but still nothing came. Feeling anxious and scared, she turned to all sides of her. Feeling stupid, Makoto gave a frustrated sigh and let herself fall defeatedly on the sand. Grabbing her legs against her chest, she shook her head angrily "Thank you! Thank you for dumping me here! Hello? Are you there? Come on!" she screamed into the air, the echo died instantly at the roar of the waves.

"Minako! Minako-chan! Trade places with me!" Rei begged as she hammered down the pegs of her tent which on her side and Ami's was fine but on the other side, Usagi's side, kept falling down.

Hidden by another smaller tent, Minako giggled as a familiar brunette stood behind her and tried to help her latch the fabric of their shelter onto a pole. Too lost in fidgeting and laughter, the two girls had taken their time in putting up their tent.

Makoto, looking up from her sullen state, watched her younger self from behind. The brunette managed to secure the tent. Moments later, Minako turned towards the taller girl and apparently whispered something evil because, in a seconds, the brunette began to tickle to smaller girl mercilessly. The two girls broke into a fierce battle of laughter and poking, both playfully grabbing at each other. Minako, though beaten in strength, pulled away from her captor and shoved her away. The brunette , shocked and wide eyed, fell back but not before pulling the smaller girl down with her. Makoto grinned wickedly as she watched her past self fall back into the tent, taking it down, as Minako thumped on top of her.

"What the...? Come on you guys!" Rei protested. Her tent was now up only slightly hanging down from Usagi's side.

The brunette and Minako hollered with laughter as they laid against the sheets of their destroyed home, their faces inches away from each other. In an odd moment and feeling spontaneous, the taller girl wrapped her arms around the girl on top of her, confidently she lifted Minako's shirt a little and placed her hand gently on the small of her back.

"What are you doing!" Makoto complained feeling her face hot. She slapped her forehead in frustration and slid her palm up into her tattered hair, massaging her scalp anxiously.

Minako quickly stopped chuckling and looked down at the brunette under her who grinned weakly. The two girls heaved, their chests banging into each other, their hot gasps colliding as their mouths grew closer and closer.

"Come on! Do it!" Makoto urged as she felt the blood rush to her head. She was now sprawled on all fours and almost shaking with excitement.

_She won't. You won't. _

Makoto jumped when she heard the hovering voice over her, she even fell back, landing on her bottom and only saving herself against her elbows. Ears ringing and heart thumping from the scare, Makoto looked over to where she and Minako would have been kissing, only to find the two girls standing while Usagi almost fell over from laughing at them.

"Hey! Why did you do that? I was about to be kissed by Minako!" Makoto complained angrily as she crawled closer towards the three girls in front of her.

_You were about to but nothing happened. Usagi-chan interrupted. _

"It doesn't matter! Why did you show up now?"

_Like you said, it didn't matter if you didn't kiss. You won't hear from me as much as you did before. _

"Whatever. Just don't leave me in one of these memories, okay?" Makoto said as she slumped back down and hugged her legs against herself, placing her quivering chin on her knee. The voice had disappeared again, never giving Makoto an answer to her request. Untroubled by this, she shrugged and continued to watch herself and her friends.

With the help of the other three girls, Minako got her tent up while the brunette left to set up the grill and begin cooking. Though distracted with their chores, Makoto noticed the two girls could not stop stealing glances at each other and blushing profusely as they did. After awhile, the subtle flirting became frustrating and was only bearable when dinner was ready and the five girls sat down to eat.

"So...how are we going to sleep?" Rei asked tentatively and looking up from her plate.

"Um...that's obvious! You, Ami-chan and me. We have the bigger tent" Usagi said with a mouth filled with food and rolling her eyes.

Rei bit her lip,embittered, and tilted her head at Minako "I just thought that maybe Mako-chan and I could share a tent since we...both...are the strongest?" she said unconvincingly.

"That makes no sense. The strongest should be equally distributed" Ami said casually, her eyes never leaving the plate in front of her as she kept eating. Her calm state was interrupted when Rei, next to her, jabbed her with her elbow. Ami coughed at little in surprise and turned to shrug, annoyed, at the miko.

"In that case, I'll sleep with Mako-chan" - Minako said as she pressed her side against the brunette who sat next to her - "No offense Rei-chan" she added.

Rei frowned her lip, baring her upper teeth in mock "Fine. For the sake of the trip, I won't sleep next to Usagi-chan" she announced flatly.

"I was going to suggest the same thing, I can't stand to sleep next to Rei-chan! She always kicks and mumbles!" Usagi challenged, her tongue sticking out at the miko.

"What about you! You snore like a lion!" Rei retaliated.

Minako and the brunette giggled as they watched Ami's worried face ache them to save her from sleeping with the two bickering girls.

"Poor Ami-chan, she's such a calm sleeper. I wonder how she got along..." Makoto said to herself, privately praying for the voice to come back but again, it didn't.

The rest of the evening consisted of the five girls finishing their food, putting their plates away and getting ready for bed. The fire that was made earlier had practically died, leaving them with the light of the moon. For the last hour, Minako seemed adamant about going to sleep, though Rei and Ami insisted they stay up a little longer. When Usagi, yawning and clearly exhausted, left to her tent, Minako pulled the brunette and announced they too would leave though they were both given harsh looks from their two friends.

Makoto, smiling, watched as Ami and Rei sighed in unison and defeatedly climbed into their large tent. Minako and her past self had already entered their temporary home and were now, facing back to back, changing into their pajamas. Makoto, tempted and awestruck, watched and crawled closer to the tent as Minako's body was silhouetted against the light and fabric of the shelter. Edging herself against the tent, Makoto gulped trying to feed her dry throat, she stared breathlessly at the black form of Minako's body, completely forgetting she had been there.

"Are you done?" Minako asked sounding happy.

The brunette, from what Makoto could make out from her silhouette, fumbled to pull her shirt down "Yes..yes. I'm done" she said between nervous chuckles as she turned and confronted the girl behind her.

Makoto clenched her fists tightly "I can't believe I was so stupid!" she growled, her ear never leaving the side of the tent.

"Come on then, let's go to sleep" Minako said as she laid down and patted the space next to her. The brunette nodded and stumbling, laid next to the smaller girl.

Makoto was so attentive and stood so close to the tent that she could painfully hear Minako giggle. The blonde shifted and clearly rolled over and placed her head on the brunette's heaving chest, her hand gently falling over the taller girl's stomach.

Makoto's jaw fell as she shook her head in disbelief "No way! This isn't happening! I can't believe it!" she cried excitedly before quickly covering her mouth with her hand in utter happiness. She fought to stop herself from bursting into a fit of overjoyed giggling and continued to watch and hear what was happening.

"Mako-chan! Why are you so nervous? It's me, Mina-chan, remember?" Minako asked as she kindly rubbed the brunette's toned midsection.

"I'm fine. I promise." the taller girl answered trying to feign a smile.

Minako giggled again and smiled "Okay. I believe you. Listen, I need to talk to you" she whispered sounding a little too serious.

Makoto banged her palms against her legs "This is it! Here we go!" she cried triumphantly as she clenched her teeth in excitement.

_No. Not yet._

"Ack! Stop doing that!" Makoto yelled after hearing the voice again. It wasn't as nerve wrecking as before but still she was just as annoyed.

_Sorry but this isn't..._

"No! Be quiet for a second and let me see!" Makoto cut the voice short for the first time and returned to her spying.

"I guess I can wait until tomorrow. I probably have no other choice, right?" the brunette said sounding a little calmer and more confident than before.

Minako placed her hand softly on the taller girl's cheek - "No, you don't" - she said before giving the brunette a gentle kiss on the edge of her lip - "Goodnight, Mako-chan" Minako slurred before cuddling into the body below her and falling asleep.

Makoto watched as her former self took awhile to recover from Minako's actions. But surely, minutes later, the light in the tent went out and was followed by the slow but deep sounds of sleep induced breathing.

_Why didn't you peek inside? See yourself face to face?_

Makoto chortled and shook her head pedantically "Come on, you know why. These questions are getting stupid and you know it" she said, resting her back against the tent behind her. She blinked her eyes and yawned in exhaustion.

_You've been seeing yourself blinded for the last two memories. What's the difference with this one? _

"I'm fed up and tired. I understand. I never did anything even though Mina-chan was throwing herself at me! I can't do anything locked here with these memories! Let me go and fix it!" Makoto protested filled with potential but too wasted to prove it as she slumped weakly against the shelter behind her.

_Go the sleep. It won't be important until the next day. _

Makoto nodded and waved her hand weakly before drifting off into sleep, where strangely, she was already asleep and dreaming.

"...woo! There's some guys coming over here!" Usagi cried excitedly.

The sudden shriek awoke Makoto from her sleep as she shifted uncomfortably away from the sand under her. Holding a hand over her eyes as she shielded herself from the blazing sun, Makoto, confused and dizzy, crawled over to the shade of a swaying palm tree.

_Yes. You're still here. It's a long memory._

Makoto grabbed her aching neck and rubbed it as she looked over and remembered everything "This isn't over? I fell asleep!" she said, surprised.

_This is where we are, we can't stop. I want you to look back at your wasted life where you don't see me. _

"I don't...understand..."- Makoto looked out to see herself and her friends approach a group of young men playing volleyball in the next camp area - "I know. I have to see this. I have to see how I screwed up" she whispered, lowering her head as she moved carefully towards the game.

" I was lead player in my high school!" Minako informed to the boy next to her before launching herself into a dive to cast the ball up and into the young man's hand, who spiked it and won another point for their team. Minako got up and high fived her recent conquest.

"What's going on? Why is Minako flirting with him? Weren't we going to have the TALK?" Makoto demanded as she watched Minako giggle and talk with the young man on her team.

_Look at yourself. I think she's being too rational._

Makoto scoffed before looking at the brunette at the other side of the volleyball game. Though on the same team and playing, her former self was openly flirting with a young, blonde man who grabbed her hair and stared at her perversely. The brunette stared back with glazed eyes and shivering at the intense man's touch.

"No, please tell me I didn't fall for him..." Makoto begged as she watched herself crumble under the man, or more likely boy, holding her hand as she glowed with light.

_Don't blame me. I always thought it was wrong but your fantasies, strong and stupid, defeated you. _

"Minako!" Makoto cried as she watched her love's heart break at the scene. Filled with rage and determination, Minako gave her partner a long and disgusting kiss on the lips, leaving the two disappointed.

"She kissed him! How could she...!" Makoto screamed in confusion.

_Stop blabbering! It's already happened! Watch! _

"Game on!" Minako yelled angrily as she twisted the ball in her hand. Ami and Rei, looked at each other nervously and prepared themselves, watching as the brunette and her partner parted ways and readied themselves to play. Serving, Minako launched the ball with all her might towards the brunette.

"Ow!" Makoto cried as she held her nose, remembering the memory.

The ball hurled itself steadily into the brunette's uncovered face, crunching against

her nose which instantly exploded into a spill of blood. Falling backwards, the tallest girl thumped with a flowing whirlwind of crimson against her face.

"That was...great!" Makoto said as she relished at the fact that her stupidity was reprimanded.

_You did deserve it but I think it could've gone a lot worse. It should have been worse. _

"Yeah well..." Makoto mumbled as she watched her former self sprawled on the ground, holding her hands over her nose as she cringed her eyes which instantly began to fill with tears. The boy she was with slowly backed away, clearly unable to handle the amount of blood pouring out of the brunette's nose. His friends also withdrew themselves from the situation, giving a quick wave and goodbye before they sped off to the other side of the beach.

_Nice catch, your guy was really worth the broken nose. _

"Shut up. I was probably just a stupid kid, right?" Makoto asked, unable to determine her age, especially now that she tried to analyze herself covered by her hands and in blood, surrounded by her friends.

"Mako-chan! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" Minako cried urgently as she tried to pull the brunette's hands away from her face. The taller girl waved the blonde off and shakily got up.

"Come on, I have a first aid kit in the tent" Ami said, carefully leading the wounded girl to their small camp, Usagi jumping nervously behind them.

"You idiot, what were you thinking?" Rei protested angrily when the three other girls were safely away.

Minako, wiping away tears from her eyes, stomped her foot on the ground "It was an accident! I didn't mean to hit her!" she shot back.

"I wasn't talking about that! Why did you kiss that guy? And in front of Mako-chan!" the miko retaliated, waving her hands in the air.

Minako lowered her eyes in shame "She was...with the other guy. I don't know why I did what I did...I'm sorry..." she whispered between sobs.

"Don't apologize to me, tell her!" Rei replied, her anger almost reaching its peak.

The two girls stayed in their spot for longer than necessary, neither spoke a word, they only watched the entrance of the largest tent, waiting to see what would happen. Tired from standing, Rei sat down, remaining next to Minako who swayed nervously in her place.

"Let me guess. Minako goes into the tent, apologizes, I forgive her and we go back to being awkward friends. Am I right?" Makoto said, smirking.

_Hmm, you're in for a surprise._

Seconds later, Ami came out of the large tent, wiping her hands on a blood smeared cloth. Before Minako could run at her, the blue haired girl held her hand out and smiled calmly.

"Well? How is she?" Rei asked as she got up and pulled Minako slightly back.

"It's a minor fracture, nothing serious. She just needs some ice and aspirin, her nose will heal on it's own. There's no need to go to a hospital." Ami informed placidly.

"Can I go in and see her?" Minako asked suspiciously since Ami would not even turn to look at her.

The blue haired girl concentrated on the piece of fabric in her hand as she spoke "She wants to be left alone right now, to rest. Rei-chan, maybe you should sleep with Minako-chan tonight" she said, nervously tearing the fibers out of the cloth she held.

"Yeah, okay" Rei mumbled in surprise as Ami ran off, escaping Minako's harsh look.

"Was I that bad?" Makoto said in unison with Minako.

_You were worse. You didn't say a single word to that poor girl for the rest of the trip. So sensitive and stupid. _

"Well, I'm glad you've humiliated me once again. Thank you for the insightful memory." Makoto barked as she watched Minako and Rei begin to argue.

"Hey, Rei-chan! You got your wish, you'll be sleeping with Mina-chan tonight!" Usagi hollered as she came out of the tent, oblivious to what was really going on.

"I don't understand anymore! At first it seemed like the pieces of this stupid puzzle were fitting together perfectly and now...It's falling apart!" - Makoto cried out in frustration - "This is idiotic and I'm tired of it! Get me out!"

_I'll let you know when you're ready to make that decision! Let's go. _

For the first time, Makoto shivered as she heard her own voice so filled with rage. Ready to transport again, she latched her eyes over onto Minako who was walking away, lonely and crying. Like being pulled by a speeding train, Makoto was yanked from her feet and soared upward as the beach below her disappeared and turned to a black nothingness. Her previous excitement of seeing Minako had now turned into a bitter burning in her heart, thumping vigorously as she breathed the intoxicating colorful air around her.

To be continued...


End file.
